Pork Panic

Weather: nasty. Mood: stressed.

100 people die from diseased pork. I am assuming that I have received this information before any news reporters. How would I handle this problem?

As soon as I received enough information to address the public, I would call up a reporter that I was friends with. If he isn't a friend, bribe him. This way he doesn't make us look too bad. I would have him put together a short segment about how bad pork can cause death. My reporter would interview me in which I would discuss this issue. 1) I would state that diseased pork can cause death. 2) I would assure the public that my company was deeply looking into the situation. 3) I would state that my company was the first pork company to address this issue. *Even if we are the only pork company. Then i would have a specialist, that is on my payroll, to be interviewed. He would state... 1) How to avoid "bad pork". He would also include cooking suggestions that might help insure clean pork. Finally, the reporter would include other types of death from eating foods containing Salmonella, Listeria, and Toxoplasma. He would also include the number of deaths from last year for those cases. It just so happens that those numbers are dramatically higher. This concludes the interview that was to be on television. I would continue to work on this behind the scenes. 1) Fuel other bad press in the nation, so that this pork news get pushed further down the list of importance. 2) Find the problem, fix the problem. Whether it's more research, inspection, etc. Whatever it takes to produce pork without this disease. *I am assuming that a solution was found. 3) Disease free pork has a special sticker on it stating something clever like "Guaranteed Wholesome Pork".* Make a commercial advertising this sticker. Hopefully after all these steps the company would be able to analyze the response and learn from the experience. Alright, tired of bloggin'. Over and out.